OK Searching for my missing father STEPHEN MURPHY: Missing from Tulsa, OK - 2 May 1976 - Age 19

Searching for my father, Stephen Lee Murphy. No one had seen or heard from him 1976. No missing person report was filed until I filed one July 2022. Last anyone had contact with him he was 19 years old. He served in the Marine Corps from 1975-1984 when he was discharged out for AWOL and Misconduct. I tried to get his OMPF with no luck. Detective out of Tulsa Oklahoma is awaiting their request for his military file. If anyone knows him or has had any contact with him, I would appreciate knowing. I appreciate any help and suggestions. Thank you all so much

Help Stephen Murphy's daughter solve the mystery of what happened to her father! Missing from #OKLAHOMA since 1976!

No missing person report was filed until his daughter filed in July 2022. Last anyone had contact with him he was 19 years old. He served in the Marine Corps from 1975-1984

www.crimewatchers.net

 

[Snoangel26]

Have you sent in a request for military information?

I've requested military records, twice. Since I don't have ssn or service number I am unable to get them. The detective I file missing person report requested his military records.

 

[Snoangel26]

Is this your grandmother? Looks like they didn't know where he was when she died, if so.

Mary Jane Clark Obituary | Vinita, OK | Burckhalter Highsmith Funeral and Cremation Services

View Mary Jane Clark's complete obituary, share memories, and explore 1 tribute posts from the community.

www.tributearchive.com

Yes that is my grandmother. In 2020 I googled Stephen's name looking for him and came across my grandmother obituary. That was how I was able to get in touch with her other children. Lots of googling names and sending letters and emails.

 

[GrandmaBear]

Is this your grandmother? Looks like they didn't know where he was when she died, if so.

Mary Jane Clark Obituary | Vinita, OK | Burckhalter Highsmith Funeral and Cremation Services

View Mary Jane Clark's complete obituary, share memories, and explore 1 tribute posts from the community.

www.tributearchive.com

It is interesting they don't say "survived by" but instead it says the family "includes" but then goes onto say who she was "preceded in death by" and doesn't list him there.

So there are a few possibilities of what they did there. Either they do not know where he is and whether he is dead or alive or he is and they know where he is, they didn't want to ignore him or leave him out but he is hiding for some reason and doesn't want his location known so they intentionally left his location out. It could be anything like back taxes, debt collectors, back child support, AWOL, criminal charges or some such, even MIA but some of those have likely been ruled out. He may be living under a different name which would make it really hard to find him.

I would have to reread here but has a death certificate been looked for?

One can request a search here, the national site. SS I think also keeps a database. Didn't have a chance to look that up but I'm pretty sure.

Data Access - National Death Index

The National Death Index (NDI) is a central computerized index of death record information on file in the State vital statistics offices.

www.cdc.gov

 

[Snoangel26]

It is interesting they don't say "survived by" but instead it says the family "includes" but then goes onto say who she was "preceded in death by" and doesn't list him there.

So there are a few possibilities of what they did there. Either they do not know where he is and whether he is dead or alive or he is and they know where he is, they didn't want to ignore him or leave him out but he is hiding for some reason and doesn't want his location known so they intentionally left his location out. It could be anything like back taxes, debt collectors, back child support, AWOL, criminal charges or some such, even MIA but some of those have likely been ruled out. He may be living under a different name which would make it really hard to find him.

I would have to reread here but has a death certificate been looked for?

One can request a search here, the national site. SS I think also keeps a database. Didn't have a chance to look that up but I'm pretty sure.

Data Access - National Death Index

The National Death Index (NDI) is a central computerized index of death record information on file in the State vital statistics offices.

www.cdc.gov

I did search the social security death index. No luck there. I do know when my mother filed for divorce from him 1980 she listed it in the paper and he was ordered to pay child support. Whether she recieved any at that time, I'm not aware of it. According to the detective they have his fingerprints on file for an incident as a juvenile. They searched them and didn't come up with anything since the juvenile one. I really believe his mother knew more than she told anyone.

 

[Kimster]

I did search the social security death index. No luck there. I do know when my mother filed for divorce from him 1980 she listed it in the paper and he was ordered to pay child support. Whether she recieved any at that time, I'm not aware of it. According to the detective they have his fingerprints on file for an incident as a juvenile. They searched them and didn't come up with anything since the juvenile one. I really believe his mother knew more than she told anyone.

I’m starting to think the same thing. Too much avoidance going on.

 

[Snoangel26]

I’m starting to think the same thing. Too much avoidance going on.

Yes I believe so. I believe I will find the answers. Nothing stays hidden forever

 

[Mel70]

Bums me out when I’m being polite and other people are not. Please don’t think this is a reflection on you.

Submitting your DNA was the best thing you could’ve done. I’m so glad that’s been done! Organizations like the DNA Doe Project are becoming more and more prevalent as time goes on and more and more on identified remains are being identified. I can’t even keep up with it anymore. It used to be a snails pace 10 years ago. Also there are professionals that have photogenic memories like I can’t believe, like Carl Koppelman. If he sees a reconstruction that looks anything like your dad, he will be all over it. Because you filed at NamUS, I know he’s already seen the photo.

Carl Koppelman is amazing. Did he do "John List"?

 

[Mel70]

Is this your grandmother? Looks like they didn't know where he was when she died, if so.

Mary Jane Clark Obituary | Vinita, OK | Burckhalter Highsmith Funeral and Cremation Services

View Mary Jane Clark's complete obituary, share memories, and explore 1 tribute posts from the community.

www.tributearchive.com

Wow. Good catch. Pretty recent. Odd coincidence. My aunt's name was Vinita.

 

[Mel70]

Have you sent in a request for military information?

Great question.

 

[Mel70]

I'm sorry, I am just catching up. And starting another busy day. I thought I would only be busy through Tuesday. But... Tomorrow I have free, Maybe later later this afternoon. I have been thinking about your dad's case and you @Snoangel26.

 

[Mel70]

No. I don't understand why she never responded to my letters. I was very polite.

It's hurtful. I'm positive it wasn't you, But I'm sure it made you feel like it was. IMO it sounds like there was alot going on behind the scenes and people didn't want to talk about it and might have been keeping some information to themselves. The comment from her that he was "Just gone" really bothers me.

 

[Mel70]

I've requested military records, twice. Since I don't have ssn or service number I am unable to get them. The detective I file missing person report requested his military records.

How long ago?. Are they dragging their feet?.

 

[Kimster]

Carl Koppelman is amazing. Did he do "John List"?

I don’t know?

 

[Guess Who]

Carl Koppelman is amazing. Did he do "John List"?

That was Frank Bender.

 

[Mel70]

That was Frank Bender.

That was spot on. Even the glasses.

 

[Guess Who]

That was spot on. Even the glasses.

and the scar. I think on his neck?

 

[Mel70]

and the scar. I think on his neck?

I don't remember that. I remember the whole bust and the glasses. It was unmistakable. His wife was in denial fir awhile. I saw him being arrested and knew 100% it was him. What bothered me the most is him killing his mother in her 80's and the picture of her body. Killed them all just because he couldn't cut it at his job and lost it. He could only pretend for awhile.

 

[Guess Who]

I don't remember that. I remember the whole bust and the glasses. It was unmistakable. His wife was in denial fir awhile. I saw him being arrested and knew 100% it was him. What bothered me the most is him killing his mother in her 80's and the picture of her body. Killed them all just because he couldn't cut it at his job and lost it. He could only pretend for awhile.

Bender had found out that List had a condition that he thought would have required surgery so he added the scar to the bust. I think it was on the neck? I can't remember the details further than that.

 

[Sunburst]

@Snoangel
When you or the detective get access to his military records, many companies/ divisions have alumni-reunion groups on social media. Once you know what company or division he served in, it may be worth a shot reaching out to that group. Example: did you serve in XYZ Marine division between 1980-1992? If so, join our FB group!!

 

[Snoangel26]

Wow. Good catch. Pretty recent. Odd coincidence. My aunt's name was Vinita.

That was my grandmother.